


This Game We Play

by MrsSarabiHolmes



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Drama, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Drama, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:48:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27392218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsSarabiHolmes/pseuds/MrsSarabiHolmes
Summary: Joker has had enough of the usual game with Batman. He decides to play his last card: his suicide. In the midst of what he believes to be their final encounter, Batman saves him. What ensues is a race against their own feelings and madness as Bruce realizes he can save Joker from himself and Joker falls more deeply in love with the Dark Knight. As they spiral down together, friends and foes will come to their aid and nuisance. Will Joker be lost to Gotham? Will he be saved by Batman? Will Batman fall to madness in an attempt to save his worst enemy? Will their dangerous romantic waltz make it or cost them more than they can handle?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	1. The Show's Over!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I hope you love angst, feels, and dark stories as this one will be packed with these elements! Also, please leave comments, kudos, or bookmark it as it incites me to write the next chapters faster! :)
> 
> Enjoy!

The loud shooting of the dull _thud_ of Scarecrow’s body on the floor isn’t even enough to make me chortle. It’s a lost cause. _I’m_ a lost cause. The rest of his men still standing growl and yell at me, but I barely hear them. It’s like I’m underwater, the irritating sounds popping against my ears. My hands shake with the intensity of the shot, yet my senses are dulled, uninteresting. I am only aware of the uncoiling abyss in me, dark and treacherous tendrils of pain unfurling. I thought I’d escaped it all, killing my parents, confiding in a lovesick shrink, obsessing about an impressive but silly bat. Yet it’s back.

_Nothingness_.

And I want of out this atrocious torment.

I force a grin on my face carved into an eternal smile and whirl around, arms open wide. Letting out a shrill laugh, I flip the gun in my hand for a better grip. The spectators growl even louder, some putting their palms over their ears. Harley used to say my laughter drew her to me, that they sounded as magnificent as a rushing river ready to throw you down the cascade to your death. It was poetic.

“Show’s over, boys! Hope you enjoyed my last performance!”

And the show’s clearly over. I’m left to my own wicked devices… Harley jumped ship with Ivy. Both little whores. Harley’s not only a liar, but a disloyal bitch. She made me feel grand, as entertaining as the opening act of a circus show. But the worst part? I believed her. And she let me down, betrayed me just like everyone is bound to do in the end. I _trusted_ her. She crept under my skin simply to mock me. Where did all her promises and love go? Right down Ace Chemicals’ toxic drain.

Unloved and alone.

And utterly _bored_. That’s the worst part of my drama.

I gulp and walk out the warehouse lair, gunning down the guard to my right. The guard looked at me funny. He _deserved_ it. Of course, no one chases after me. They know I walk with the devil. Or so to speak. I hunch my shoulders and stare at the ground. My heart constricts as two realizations hit me harder than the freezing breeze.

With Two-Face and Scarecrow killed off, I figured it would up the game. Maybe even cheer me up. But numbness still burdens me and pain radiates from my chest, both haunting like the darkest of knight. My dark knight… You and me. Our game was the greatest story of my life. This bat and clown game we play, you a costumed freak vowing for good against my wicked freakish self who leaves a trail of death and madness. A perfect war, with jagged pieces of armour and knife between us. The perfect joke.

But even perfect jokes can fall flat. And this one is so overused it’s cliché.

Because even Batman’s boring now. Our game, so redundant. _So lifeless_. My heart expands then beats faster for a second as I think of you. So much potential for nothing.

A murder of your sidekick here and a paralyzing of your other sidekick there. But nothing changes. We’re still boring. I tried upping the game by reducing the number of enemies—I am doing you a favour!—but I am not the least excited. I guess our relationship ends here. Relationship… What exactly have we got? You never see anything, so why bother?

Harley was fun, but not like you.

Never like you. No one is as interesting. But we have gotten stale… and I am tired of fighting to get your attention. We used to share a fate, but you’ll have to move on without me. I’ll do what you never could: I will end me.

I snort, bitterness twisting my smile as I kick the ground and snarl at the sudden pain in my foot. But it’s nothing like the turmoil inside, like the agony.

Batman and I, for eternity. Yeah, I’ll take care of that my way.

I’ll tell the saddest joke with a punchline.

But first, I want to fly, too. Slowly, I gaze up at the starry sky. The stars are twinkling brightly, and it would be mesmerizing if I was truly alone, but I know you’re out there somewhere. I pout and stop my gaze on the construction building before me. It stands upright, but several posts and jambs are missing, there are tarps clapping in the wind in the empty windows which remind me of your cape, though more gray than black. But it is high… Quite high. And what is that? I think I can see stairs. They seem steady enough for me to climb up. Anyway, I won’t be using them to come down… Chuckling with a heavy heart and a grim determination, I lift my foot and start walking toward the building.

You’re watching, aren’t you?

Let’s meet one last time. Oh, because you’ll be there. You’ll come, just like you always do. But this time, I’m the hero and you’re the villain. So, come, Batman, and let me face you again one last time.

This battle is ours and these feelings are mine and solely mine. You consider me only an archenemy, a product of chaos and madness, but you forget—or ignore—that I’m human too. And oh, the things you do to me with that unwavering gaze, this rumbling voice and your unbeatable skills. Do you care about me?

**Ha ha!** Who am I fooling? Myself!

Obviously, you don’t care! I’m just a speck of dirt to throw away, wiping it clean. You only care about thwarting my plans, my games, my fabulous _jokes_. And I, like a good jester, oblige and innovate.

Why don’t you care?!

I’m right here before you! We strike each other, bleed together and wreak havoc on Gotham. This should mean something to you!

Does your coldness hide a teensy bit of acknowledgment for me? Do you fear me? Do you _want_ me? Do you obsess over me every day and night like I do with you? Do I haunt your heart, linger in the cracks and crevices like a twisted secret?

I’m being too hopeful here, ain’t I?

Here goes the bad joke: A Batman and a Joker face off, before the final fall, and the dumb hero can’t save the jester from himself.

It’s funny because the jester has already fallen in love and the Dark Knight doesn’t even care!

Laugh! I bet you’re laughing at me now, Bats! Laughing as you watch me from the shadows.

We’re at the top, you and I. Waging our own war. But everything that goes up has to fall. You’ve got people and support. I’ve got Gotham’s underworld and nightmares keeping me up at night. No one to share my sorrows or victories with.

You’re all I have left.

And you’re a poor help. You never noticed. You never _saw_ me.

But now you will.

My hands tremble, but I grip the stairs railing. I fix my mischievous gaze on the floors above, and smirk. Tonight, I’ll be free. Free of the anguish and pain searing in my chest and body, of the numbness and the madness that weighs heavy even on my soul. I tried so hard to get your attention, vying for it, becoming even more creative to face you again and again. But I’m done. I’ve laughed for too long. I want to be quiet. As quiet as a tomb.

It’s always you and me in the end. My blood mixed with yours. I wish there was a better way, but nothing you do surprises me anymore. My heart’s ripe for the taking but everyone hates it. Though you hate it most.

So, I guess you get the last laugh. You win, but I still have one last trick up my sleeve.

So, come, take a seat. Let me pull the curtain and step onto the stage.

This is my last performance and you don’t want to miss it.


	2. Requiem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker is ready to take his last leap. His audience? A certain Dark Knight who wants to save the clown despite their awful past. But Joker has had enough, he's ready to play his last card. The jester is done laughing. At least he's still at the top with Batman. One last dance with his favorite enemy, the only one in his heart. Time for Joker's Requiem. Is Batman ready?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dears!
> 
> Don't worry, I'm nowhere near done with this fic, it's just due to the heavy matters it's sometimes more difficult for me to write it. BUT I'm intent on writing it for you--it's going to be a wild, emotional, dark, and angsty ride, lovelies! :D Just bear with me, okay?
> 
> Haha, thanks!
> 
> Don't forget to leave comments (I thrive on those and it DOES make me write faster), kudos, bookmark the story, subscribe to this fic or me as a user. All this warms my heart and puts the fanfic at the forefront of my thoughts. 
> 
> Love y'all, thanks for subscribing, leaving kudos, and bookmarking this fic (I see those of you who did it!)
> 
> \- MrsSarabiHolmes

I lean over the void and look down, gravity beckoning me down, down… Scoffing, a sad smile stretches my scarred lips. The tarps of the top and incomplete floor clap in the strong evening wind. If I weren’t so out of touch with reality, seeking a final escape, I’d even believe the construction building wavered, just like my bobbing, bleeding heart. That heart you never wanted and mocked despite my repeated attempt to make you _understand_. To make you _see_ me. You’d argue, Batman, that you do, but only as an archenemy, not a lovesick fool. The jester is out of jokes, but I’m somehow satisfied as I hear the rustling of your cape a few feet behind me. As subtle but firm as you wish to be. A true Dark Knight.

“I knew you’d come,” I tell him as I look over my shoulder, smirking at his stoic form.

“Joker.”

“That’s my name, yeah.”

Batman narrows his eyes at me and I grin as I turn around to face him. I extend my arms, my heels dangerously close to the edge. His eyes flicker to my feet, then back to my face.

“Why did you kill Two-Face and Scarecrow?”

I snort, shrugging. This question is insulting. Even near death, all he sees are the bodies I leave like a trail behind me. But he never grasped how it was so he could find me.

_All I do is always for you._

“It’s funny?” I answer with a question, hoping he’ll get how stupid it is.

His chest rises slowly, and I imagine my hands on his chest. Just for a second. I suck in a breath and bore my eyes into his blue eyes. _Who are you underneath that mask, my Dark Knight?_

“Step away from the edge, Joker.”

“Be careful with your wording or I might step away in the _other_ direction, Bats…” I snicker.

He sighs and makes a move towards me, but I shake my finger before my face to stop him.

“Ah, no, no, no. Not so easy.”

Bats looks around, probably searching for guns or henchmen that are not even here. Or an obsessed harlequin. Who knows? A loud laugh bubbles out of my throat.

“No threats, Bats. I’m just glad you came to my last performance.”

His eyes stare straight into mine, and I blink, surprised. How special it makes me feel when he sees me, even for just a second. I could drown in this feeling for eternity. Alas, I only taste what’s forbidden or what’s worst on this damned Earth.

“That won’t fix things, Joker.”

I harden my gaze as my heart constricts painfully. My lips twitch, and I hate myself for such a weak response. As I look away, Bats extends his armoured arm to me. I frown and cock my head sideways.

“Are you serious, Bats? You want to save me?”

I can’t help laughing my throat goes raw, yet my heart beats faster. Is this warmth in my chest? Some feeling forgotten long ago… barely experienced in my life. Is it relief? Love? What is it?

He stays silent for a while, as if thinking over his next words carefully. I can see his jaw clenching. It takes an effort from him, I’m certain. The longer he takes, the more needles pierce my heart. _He’s just like the rest, isn’t he?_

“Suicide is not the answer, and I won’t let you commit another murder. Even your own, Joker.”

Am I touched?

“I’m flattered,” I sneer, my eyes welling up against my own will.

“No, you’re desperate. Let me help you.”

Bats shakes his hand slightly, and stare at it longingly. What would happen if I grabbed it and let him _save_ me? Would he like me? Would he see me as I am? Would he _bother_ with me? Nah, he’d play the worst trick and put me back in Arkham, claiming those shrinks will help me, while he has all the fun… forgetting all about me. But the Joker isn’t one you forget.

_You won’t forget me, Bats. I’ll haunt your memory._

My lips curl over my teeth and I glare at him. But still, he stays standing still with his hand reaching out to me. As though he could save everyone. As though the Dark Knight truly cared about me.

Another reason to leave. Another reason to die. I want him obsessed with me. I want his love, but can’t seem to get it. Not only that, but I’m tired of suffering alone. Ignored at every turn. I could take his hand, but then he’d win. And I’d lose everything. I’d even lose our war…

_That can’t happen._

I picture us dancing together on Mozart’s Requiem, dramatically, intensely. Swirling, spinning, laughing… _Entranced_. Forever locked in a deadly dance. The Joker and his Dark Knight. I close my eyes and take in the feeling of peace this image brings me. Then, I open them slowly, staring at him with all I have left. I’m tired of trying when there’s nothing new. Nothing on the horizon. _He_ can still have good in his life.

_If I’m not here._

“It will be best for both of us,” I say with a sad smile.

I kick the ground forcefully so I’m pushed forward, and as Bats shouts and throws himself at me, I plunge into the void. A morose, sinister laugh explodes from my chest in what I hope is the last time.

Until silence engulfs me and my laughter die forever.

I’m glad you came for the show, Bats. You and me at the top, as always. But it’s time I stepped down and you flew. My performance is over.

For once, forget your principles and don’t save me.

Let me fall and forget me.

You know how to do that, don’t you?

Forget me, it’s best for us both, freaks.

After all, you were never mine and I was always yours.

Fortunately, I get the last laugh with my suicide.

It’s now my time to dance alone in the spotlight. You’re free from me now, Batman.

My last gift to you.

Here’s my Requiem.


End file.
